54. Keeping a Secret

The rain was pelting the side walk.  It was coming down in sheets and was batting against the window.  Joe was flopped on the couch, remote in his hand, the news on the high definition TV screen, face caked with tears. It had been over a month since he had said goodbye to Nick that dawn.  It had been over a month since anyone had seen him.  It had been over a month of the same news clip playing over and over again every night.

"World famous musician, Nick Jonas of the Jonas Brothers has been missing for 36 days.  He was reportedly last seen with his older brother, Joe, in an abandoned parking lot.

The lady on the screen continued to drone on, and Joe continued to cry.  He knew where Nick was… in a sense.  At least he knew that he was okay.  After that night, Nick had fled, afraid of what would come after their little PDA on the beams above the stage.  He had kept in touch with Joe for the first week or so, but soon he just stopped all together.

Joe stood up and wiped the tears off his cheeks.  It was painful, but it was his ritual to watch this news clip every night.  He needed to see Nick's face.  He needed to see him happy and smiling.  More than anything, he needed his baby brother back.  Joe knew it was his fault that Nick was "missing".  Joe's heart ached to hold Nick in his arms.

He walked into the small kitchen his apartment had.  After Nick left, Joe had moved out of his parents' house and bought a place for himself.  To be alone.  To cry alone.  To miss Nick.  Alone.  It was the prospect of Nick being okay that kept Joe going.  Nick would be heart broken if Joe were to die, and Joe didn't want to cause any more pain for his little brother than he already had.

He pulled the silver handle on the refrigerator and opened the large door, reaching in and pulling out a carton of apple juice, skillfully avoiding the Diet Coke cans.  Joe had bought them in case Nick ever found him, but now they were just a painful reminder.  However, he couldn't bring himself to throw out the caffeinated drink.  He shut the door and grabbed a glass, pouring the liquid into it, putting the bottle on the counter, not caring that it would get warm.

He walked around his apartment, drinking the juice and thinking.  When his thoughts drifted to Nick, as they so often did, he walked over to his stereo and played some music.  He went to take another sip of juice, but realized the glass was empty.  Sighing, he walked back into the kitchen to get more.

When he walked through the archway, the apple juice wasn't on the counter anymore.  He leaned into the room farther to see if anyone was in there.  Someone in gray pants was bending over, reaching for something in his refrigerator.  Joe gasped, and his hand instinctively flew to his pocket in search of his cell.  But of course it wasn't there.  No one ever called him, so there was no point to carry it around with him.

The noise of the gasp had alerted the other person in the kitchen of Joe's presence.  The other person turned around and faced Joe.  Joe felt as if the air had been knocked out of him when he saw the face of the other occupant of the room.

"Nick," he whispered.  Nick just stood there, one of those Diet Cokes in his hand.  Joe stumbled to the counter to gain his balance.  It had only been a month, but it had felt like years.  Nick's brow was creased in worry.

"Joe… are you okay?" the younger boy asked, concerned.  He reached his hand out and put it on Joe's shoulder, but Joe's eyes didn't stray from Nicks.  Joe reached up and cupped Nick's face in his hands, gently pulling it closer to his own.  Just as their lips were about to touch, Joe spoke softly.

"Why'd you come back?"

"Because I couldn't stand to be away."

And the distance was closed.  Neither knew who was the one that made the move, or when, but all they knew was that they were in a full on lip lock, and it was more passionate than anything either had ever experienced.

Joe was standing now, making it easier to kiss Nick.  The younger boy began to back Joe into the wall.  When the older boys back was against the wall, Nick took his lips off Joe's and began to nibble on his neck.  Joe's hands dove into Nick's hair as he rubbed his scalp.  Both boys let out moans of pleasure.

Breathless, Joe gasped out, "Nick, I missed you so fucking much."  Nick pulled back and Joe groaned at the loss of Nick's warm mouth against his cool skin.  When Joe realized that Nick wasn't going to continue, he opened his eyes, closed his mouth, and looked at him.

"I missed you too," Nick said, smiling, before he turned around and walked out of the room towards the front door.  It took Joe a moment to react, but he followed his little brother out of the room.  Nick was bent over, tying his shoes.

"Where are you going?" Joe cried, scared he was losing his love again, just after getting him back.

"Not me, us," Nick said, tossing Joe's shoes to him.  Without thinking, Joe slipped the sneakers on.  When both boys were ready, Joe finally asked the question on his mind.

"Where are we going?"

"Take my hand," he spoke, grinning seductively.  Joe's mind went blank, but he composed himself.

"Where are we going?" he asked stupidly for the second time.

"Take my hand," Nick repeated, tenacious.  Joe looked at the younger boy warily, but slipped his fingers into the out-stretched hand.  Without further haste, Nick flung the door open and pulled Joe through it.  Once the two were out side of the grungy apartment building and running down the street, Joe felt himself relax.  Wasn't this just what he wanted?

The rain couldn't have mattered less as it pelted their faces.  Both boys were winded from running for so long, but neither was ready to stop.  Their hands were entwined in each others as they ran through the darkened city streets.  Finally, when it was too much to bear, they stopped, leaning over on each other for support, gasping for air.  When they finally caught their breath, all they had to do was look at each other and they were right back where they were.  This time though, they didn't try and catch their breath.  Instead, Joe wrapped his arms around Nick's neck, locking his fingers together tightly in the back.  Nick places his hands on Joe's shoulders.  They stared into each others eyes, boy of their breath skittish, before Nick stood on his tip-toes and places his lips to Joe's.

It was gentle.  So, so gentle.  At first.  However, it had been too long since either boy had felt so close to any one, and soon the two boys were all but biting the others face off.  They were so locked in the other that they didn't realize they were standing in front of a house until the porch lights went on.

"Shit!" Nick hissed, stepping behind me as the door flung open.  Joe stood there, hopefully hiding the site of his brother as a tall woman stepped out onto the porch.  She squinted, as if she was blind and I was a thousand miles away.  When it was evident she couldn't see me, she went back into the house, closing the door and turning off the light.  My body went slack from the relief and Nick stood up, sighing.  "Let's get out of here."

Joe nodded in agreement and once again took his younger brothers hand.  They ran until they found a street that was completely deserted.  There was construction equipment, barely finished homes, and "For Sale" signs in each of the lawns.  Both boys assumed that this was a portion of the development that was still… in development.  The two of us crept behind one of the houses to find a pool filled with water.  Strange to find full pool behind an unfinished house, but the two boys didn't complain.

Joe walked up to the edge of the pool, his toes just reaching the edge of the pool.  He turned back to Nick to see his still standing by the fence they had hopped to get to there.  "Come on Nick," Joe said, urging Nick to join him on the edge of the pool.  Nick stood where he was and shook his head.

"Too cold," he asserted.  Joe rolled his eyes and walked towards Nick, grabbing his hand.

"Bull shit.  It's 90 degrees out!" Joe laughed.  The rain had let up and the moon was breaking through the clouds.  He tugged Nicks arm.  When the boy didn't comply, Joe just rolled his eyes and walked to the pool, jumping in with all of his cloths, including his shoes, still adorning his body.  A wave of pool water soon drenched Nick as he had begun to creep closer to the pool.  Joe's head bobbed up from under the water and he shook the hair from his face.

"Oh, you are so dead!" Nick threatened playfully as he joined Joe in the pool.  They splashed water at each other, treading water in the deep end.  However, Joe stopped suddenly.  Nick took the hint and stopped as well, looking into the older boys eyes.  Without a second though, Nick dove into Joe's arms, immediately shoving his tongue in the older boy's mouth.  Although shocked, Joe did nothing to push him away.

The two boys continued to make out in the pool, both trying to keep themselves afloat.  When this proved to be too difficult, the reluctantly broke apart and climbed up the small ladder that was strapped to the side of the pool.  Nick shook his hair like a dog as Joe came up behind him, wrapping his arms around him.  Nick let out a squeal of delight and turned himself around in Joe's arms.

Joe felt himself go weak at the knees as Nick looked into his eyes.  Not just a look though, a soul crushing, stomach turning, sweaty palm inducing stare.  He leaned forward.  Just as his lips brushed Nick's he pulled back slightly.  His eyes still closed, their foreheads touching just barley, he whispered; "Why must we always fall in love with the wrong people?"

The words stung Nick's heart, as he was wondering the same thing.  What they were doing was so, so wrong.  But how could they stop?  There wasn't a way.  They were just… made for each other.  Nick felt it, and he was sure that Joe felt it to.  He realized he was starting to over analyze things as he so often did and closed the distance.  Again, he would have to leave in the morning.  They would have to be apart.  They could run, but someone was sure to find them.  They could hide, but eventually they'd need to come back to the world of existence.

Slowly, Joe began to back Joe over to a small patch of fake grass that the construction workers had already laid down.  As the two boys lay down, Joe couldn't think of anything he could want more.  It was true, he would never be able to have Nick.  At least not in the way that he wanted.  To be able to go out and hold hands.  To be able to share a passionate embrace in front of people.  They would never be able to be that couple.  However, he could have Nick this way, and he was more than ready to take him.

He began snaking his hands up his younger brother's shirt, prying the wet fabric from his toned body.  Nick smiled and Joe smiled then the world ended.  It's sad, I know, but these things happen.